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Tell a dumb joke...
- Thread starter The Hollyberry Lady
- Start date
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
Why did the orange stop running?
It ran out of juice.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
A carrot
Why did the orange stop running?
It ran out of juice.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
A story about mateship.
Sheila didn't come home one night. When Bruce asked her where she'd been she said she spent the night at a girl friend's house. Bruce was a bit suspicious she'd been rooting around so rang her ten closest friends, but none of them had seen her.
Next week Bruce didn't come home one night. Sheila asks him where the hell he'd been. Bruce says he got a bit drunk at a mate's place and thought it was safer not to drive and crash out there. Sheila thinks he's been rooting around so rings his ten best mates.
Eight of them say he spent the night there and two claim he's still there.
Sheila didn't come home one night. When Bruce asked her where she'd been she said she spent the night at a girl friend's house. Bruce was a bit suspicious she'd been rooting around so rang her ten closest friends, but none of them had seen her.
Next week Bruce didn't come home one night. Sheila asks him where the hell he'd been. Bruce says he got a bit drunk at a mate's place and thought it was safer not to drive and crash out there. Sheila thinks he's been rooting around so rings his ten best mates.
Eight of them say he spent the night there and two claim he's still there.
Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
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Bruce took Sheila to the Ekka in Brissie and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." Sheila playfully nudged Bruce in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." Sheila gave Bruce a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." Sheila, so excited that her elbow nearly broke Bruce's ribs, said, that's once a day, you could REALLY learn something from this one."
Bruce looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if all those times it was with the same old cow."
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25 Reasons why beer is better than women
1 - You can enjoy a beer all month long
2 - Beer stains wash out
3 - You don't have to wine and dine a beer
4 - Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football
5 - When your beer goes flat you toss it out and get another one
6 - Beer is never late
7 - A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
8 - Hangovers go away
9 - Beer labels come off without a fight
10 - When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer
11 - Beer never has a headache
12 - After you're finished with a beer the bottle is still worth five cents
13 - A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer
14 - If you pour a beer right you'll always get good head
16 - A beer always goes down easy
17 - You can always share a beer with friends
18 - You know you're always the first one to pop a beer
19 - Beer is always wet
20 - Beer doesn't demand equality
21 - You can have a beer in public
22 - A beer doesn't care what time you come home
23 - A frigid beer is a good beer
24 - You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
25 - If you change beers you don't have to pay maintenance
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
----------------------------------------------------------------
Bruce took Sheila to the Ekka in Brissie and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." Sheila playfully nudged Bruce in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year."
They walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 120 times last year." Sheila gave Bruce a healthy jab and said, "That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him."
They walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "This bull mated 365 times last year." Sheila, so excited that her elbow nearly broke Bruce's ribs, said, that's once a day, you could REALLY learn something from this one."
Bruce looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if all those times it was with the same old cow."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
25 Reasons why beer is better than women
1 - You can enjoy a beer all month long
2 - Beer stains wash out
3 - You don't have to wine and dine a beer
4 - Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play football
5 - When your beer goes flat you toss it out and get another one
6 - Beer is never late
7 - A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
8 - Hangovers go away
9 - Beer labels come off without a fight
10 - When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer
11 - Beer never has a headache
12 - After you're finished with a beer the bottle is still worth five cents
13 - A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer
14 - If you pour a beer right you'll always get good head
16 - A beer always goes down easy
17 - You can always share a beer with friends
18 - You know you're always the first one to pop a beer
19 - Beer is always wet
20 - Beer doesn't demand equality
21 - You can have a beer in public
22 - A beer doesn't care what time you come home
23 - A frigid beer is a good beer
24 - You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
25 - If you change beers you don't have to pay maintenance
Davetaylor said:
Good one Dave.
what do you call a boomerang that doesnt work?
a stick
a stick
Hahahahaha
: )
That last one was pretty funny too!
: )
: )
you know what kind of coffee they drank on the titanic?
Sanka.
Sanka.
Q) can you speak polish ?
answer would be, "no" from most people
reply back with,
how does it feel to be dumber than a polack.
answer would be, "no" from most people
reply back with,
how does it feel to be dumber than a polack.
What do you hear when you play country and western music, backwards?...
"You get your dog back, you get your house back, you get your wife back..."
: )
Did you hear about the blonde that died taking helicopter flying lessons?
She was doing great till she got too cold and turned off the big fan...
She was doing great till she got too cold and turned off the big fan...
Yes, totally sure! It was Polish and black friends who told me the jokes!
: O
: O
I've moved some jokes for the time been, I'm not convinced they're in the spirit of a group forum despite how amusing some may fine them.
The boss will no doubt make a ruling on it soon.
For the time been please refrain from jokes which may offend other users.
The boss will no doubt make a ruling on it soon.
For the time been please refrain from jokes which may offend other users.