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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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Rooze, all I can say is holy crap. I guess THP can consider your post a reason not to bother with a hot dog throwdown. Looks like you've already decided the outcome. That's one delicious looking plate. Call my cardiologist, I'm going to try to copy your work.
 
Greg H said:
Rooze, all I can say is holy crap. I guess THP can consider your post a reason not to bother with a hot dog throwdown. Looks like you've already decided the outcome. That's one delicious looking plate. Call my cardiologist, I'm going to try to copy your work.
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Thanks Greg.....I sell medical equipment on the side, so if you need a couple more recipes and a deal on a lightly used defibrillator, just let me know :beer:
 
Drunkenly... I just realized how new I am, and where I am! ON MY LIPS!!!!! But I still want some of that Billy Bob Parker Pie... yup... wuf...
 
so in case it hasnt been apparent in my last couple of drunken chef posts, I have been on this kick of basically using up as much stuff in my kitchen before I have to go to the grocery store, and combining ingredients in weird and experimental ways

I still have 7 pieces left of Sockeye Salmon in the freezer, so I decided to break one of them out tonight.

the only starch I have is rice and tater tots, but I have one left over thing of romaine, so I am going to do a salad

I would do blackened, but I did that the last two times with the shrimp, so I decided to go with an asian/thai theme

I was gonna bread the fish in panko, but now I think I am going to do something else. Making some sort of sauce out of peanut butter, soy sauce, EVOO, birds eye chili sauce, sesame seeds, and coconut milk, left over from the curry I did last week.

Should be interesting to say the least....
 
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salad dressing, which turned out meh, someones gonna have to give me a better way to make an oil based dressing than what I just tried. Never did it before, never read a recipe for it, so I just winged it.

flavor is fantastic, but the olive oil really overpowers, maybe I just used too good of olive oil...?

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peanut butter soy sauce ginger valencia orange peel, peri peri birds eye pepper sauce

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and wow, the only way that salmon could have turned out better was if it was fresh out of the river, that peanut butter is just fantastic with that natural smokiness of the sockeye salmon, which sounds odd, but really complements itself
 
wheebz said:
salad dressing, which turned out meh, someones gonna have to give me a better way to make an oil based dressing than what I just tried. Never did it before, never read a recipe for it, so I just winged it.

flavor is fantastic, but the olive oil really overpowers, maybe I just used too good of olive oil...?



peanut butter soy sauce ginger valencia orange peel, peri peri birds eye pepper sauce





2011-06-29_20-22-55_210.jpg
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Man you're a healthy eater! That looks healthy and deeelish.
 
RocketMan said:
What did you use to make the dressing? Carapelli is good Olive Oil so I would find it hard to believe that was the culprit unless it was an old bottle. What kind of acid did you ues in it?
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3 parts EVOO to one part acid is the general rule of thumb. Add the acid (lemon juice, rice wine vinegar etc) with any solids, like parmesan or whatever, then slowly drizzle in the OO whilst hitting it with a whisk.

Plus, I like to dress the greens lightly without using hands. So I'll drizzle the dressing into the bowl, around the sides etc, then drop in the lettuce and just toss it. That way it stays light and the greens stay crisp and don't get drenched in dressing.

But what do I know :crazy:
 
rooze said:
3 parts EVOO to one part acid is the general rule of thumb. Add the acid (lemon juice, rice wine vinegar etc) with any solids, like parmesan or whatever, then slowly drizzle in the OO whilst hitting it with a whisk.

Plus, I like to dress the greens lightly without using hands. So I'll drizzle the dressing into the bowl, around the sides etc, then drop in the lettuce and just toss it. That way it stays light and the greens stay crisp and don't get drenched in
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Yep sounds like what I learned at the Mamas School of the Culinary Arts. Personally I prefer lemon juice as my acid with some fresh herbs thrown in too but I'm sure there are a million ways to do it. Oh and hey damn tasty looking dog!
 
I made some for the first time a while ago. I just put all the ingredients in a glass jar and shook the bejesus out of it. It tasted horrible. The taste was wrong, I might have used the wrong sort of evoo.
 
megamoo said:
I made some for the first time a while ago. I just put all the ingredients in a glass jar and shook the bejesus out of it. It tasted horrible. The taste was wrong, I might have used the wrong sort of evoo.
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Are you sure it wasn't Caster Oil or maybe cod liver oil? Nasty stuff those!
 
megamoo said:
I made some for the first time a while ago. I just put all the ingredients in a glass jar and shook the bejesus out of it. It tasted horrible. The taste was wrong, I might have used the wrong sort of evoo.
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LOL!....not sure there's a 'wrong' type of OO, unless it's ultra cheap or rancid. A good ingredient in any vinaigrette is Dijon mustard, gives it a nice flavor. I think dropping it all in a jar and shaking it might not be giving you the right emulsion of the oil and vinegar. I think if you stick to the 3:1 and remember to whisk in the OO, and not overdress the greens, you can pretty much use whatever herbs, cheese, mustard you want, even hot sauces, spices and dried herbs. You can always make just a bit and try it before hand.

Fricken hey, I only eat fat-man food and here I am giving tips on dressing up a lettuce :dance:
 
JayT said:
Uh...what? Who are you talking about? Wheebz? :shocked: If you only knew some of the things I have seen him eat.:lol:
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Heck just take a good look at whats on the tables on his journey through Germany. But hey, I'd be chowing down on some of the same stuff though so... :woohoo:
 
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