The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[RS67Man]

Daymmnnn rooze, you need a whole herd of Kenworths to handle that load of awesomeness.....




Psst, THP, I think I see a crown in his future.......

 

[5oclocksomewhere]

Usually when I'm invited to dinner I don't raid the liquor cabinet and shotgun their full bottle of SoCo.

Bear runs by a different mantra. It can be summed up with this acronym: AWESOME.

This guy;s an animal!

Bear gave us big-ups for being so gracious with the the booze... and the mean grub.

These stuffed poblanos were the bomb. Bear said it tasted like AWESOME x 10. Thanks Bear... for the pose..

Bear's got a pretty refined palate. He said we made some fine vittels. I'm not gonna argue with him, nor bring up his spelling mistakes.. He might be snuggly, but he's got some sharp claws.

Check it:

Bear... YOU so crazzzzy!

Bwahahahahaha!!!!

This bear's got a demon inside a him! He is taking the party in SoFlo to new levels. He's a bit much to deal with when he's sober, but I'm glad to see he doesn't have that problem tonight!

 

[frydad4]

Bear drove me nuts. He ate all my food and then shit in the woods behind my house (I wasn't sure if he would).

Much apologies to Rooze. Damn dude, you rocked that post!!!! AMAZING!!!

I'm genuinely sad Bear came by on the night you decided to post your first drunken chef!
You, sir, have awesome skills! Hope to see you here for the long haul!!!!

 

[rooze]

Bear drove me nuts. He ate all my food and then shit in the woods behind my house (I wasn't sure if he would).

Much apologies to Rooze. Damn dude, you rocked that post!!!! AMAZING!!!

I'm genuinely sad Bear came by on the night you decided to post your first drunken chef!
You, sir, have awesome skills! Hope to see you here for the long haul!!!!

Thanks man!...the bear pics are hilarious....I gotta lighten up when I'm cooking and wear some kinda 'outfit'

 

[The Hot Pepper]

rooze NO WAY you made that amazing meal whilst DRUNK!!!!!! Wrong thread!!!

What kind of corn dog batter was that?

 

[rooze]

rooze NO WAY you made that amazing meal whilst DRUNK!!!!!! Wrong thread!!!

What kind of corn dog batter was that?

LOL...Heck yeah....hic..

Wasn't really a corn dog batter....the dogs were cooked in hot dog buns and the batter was just a light fish batter......the semi-frozen dogs and buns dipped in the batter and fried.
Batter is easy to make.....2 cups plain flour, tsp baking powder, good dash of hot sauce (i use Louisiana), tsp hot paprika, tsp of salt, whatever other spicy powder you want.....then just slowly drizzle in the hard cider and whisk slowly.....doesn't matter if there's lumps....just want to retain the carbonation of the cider so it cooks up light and crunchy.....you can use this for anything....tonight it was hot dogs!!...tomorrow, who knows?!

 

[SumOfMyBits]

Showed up at my house ready to hit the slumber pads...

WTF?!?

Bear, he's a party animal.

Sleep it off in my tub, dude. It's all gewd. Just beer me a beer in the morning.




Rooze! You should hit up the throwdowns. Contender for sure. No doubt.

 

[SumOfMyBits]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's it. I quit. Y'all got me beat by a mile. I either need to hang up my funny-pants....or move down south and join the SoFlo Posse!!!

Don't hang 'em up P2K... Jus' hike 'em up.

"Bring a change of underwear when visiting Drucken Chef... things get wet." -- Bear

 

[The Hot Pepper]

LOL...Heck yeah....hic..

Wasn't really a corn dog batter....the dogs were cooked in hot dog buns and the batter was just a light fish batter......the semi-frozen dogs and buns dipped in the batter and fried.
Batter is easy to make.....2 cups plain flour, tsp baking powder, good dash of hot sauce (i use Louisiana), tsp hot paprika, tsp of salt, whatever other spicy powder you want.....then just slowly drizzle in the hard cider and whisk slowly.....doesn't matter if there's lumps....just want to retain the carbonation of the cider so it cooks up light and crunchy.....you can use this for anything....tonight it was hot dogs!!...tomorrow, who knows?!

Yeah it looked like the buns too but I thought I was seeing things. Nice!

 

[texas blues]

Drunken manbear in a hottub. Strange goin's on floating in the ether ya'll. How about a manatee suit next time?

 

[5oclocksomewhere]

Drunken manbear in a hottub. Strange goin's on floating in the ether ya'll. How about a manatee suit next time?

The manatee. Nature's speedbump.

 

[5oclocksomewhere]

Dude, if I were you I'd make that bear do some cleaning!

Showed up at my house ready to hit the slumber pads...

WTF?!?

Bear, he's a party animal.

Sleep it off in my tub, dude. It's all gewd. Just beer me a beer in the morning.




Rooze! You should hit up the throwdowns. Contender for sure. No doubt.

 

[SumOfMyBits]

No kidding 5-O. Place was near spotless till that drunk guy trashed it!

Bear... that guy.

 

[salsalady]

rooze, I foresee some BLING in your future!

 

[megamoo]

Got the oil up to 350 and deep frying the hot dogs!!!!!! - you wouldn't believe the freakin awesomeness....

Mouth

Arteries

 

[RaelThomas]

Inspired by last nights viewing of Bizarre Foods episode in Sichuan Province China I decided to get involved with some serious hot pot action... Here's how it went down!

Getting everything together... As you can see my vision is slightly blurry already.

Having got my stock ready. dried chilli, chilli mash, sichuan bean & chilli sauce go in the pan with some peanut oil.

Stock added, along with sherry, sugar, salt, rice wine, vinegar, fresh cayenne, sichuan peppercorns etc etc etc...

Skewers.. check! (that's Pork marinated in ginger, chilli, and hoi sin). (The vegies ones are; Fennel & bok choi, and Peppers & ... peppers!)

And it's go time! Skewers HOY!

I was so tipsy I forgot to include my whiskey can... Oops.

Ok, so I shared this between myself, my better half, and my mother whome we are visiting... Happy times.
Allthough only I took part in an after-brothing... pssshhh.... I must say it was deliciously fiery. the broth was the best part!

Good Times! Now, if you don't mind... I need another whiskey.

 

[robbie]

Wow, that's some good looking hot pot action!

There's a good chance I'll be entirely too unsober to remember
to post pictures later tonight so here's a teaser. We're making
two spice-rubbed crusty pork tenderloins. Each roast was rubbe
dwith a mixture of finely chopped garlic, ginger and habanero pep-
per, curry, garam masala, chili and tumeric powders, salt and
pepper, lime juice, olive oil and chopped cilantro leaves.If I
do end up cooking this tonight, I'll then mix flour, curry pow-
der and chili powder and dredge the tenderloin before frying
it in oil to brown all sides. It will then go into the oven at 400
degrees F for 30 minutes before resting for 15 minutes. It will
be sliced and placed atop sauteed spinach leaves and red onion.
The pan will be deglazed with red wine, reduced and have butter
added. I could make a roux using some of the remaining flour mix-
ture but that may be too much work at the rate I'm already drink-
ing. The pan sauce will nonetheless be drizzled over the top of
the pieces of tenderloin.

I'll either make that or some porterhouse steaks that have been
marinating in olive oil, freshly-squeezed garlic and habanero
slices. One of these dishes will have to wait until tomorrow
night.

The tenderloins had wonderful flavor and were as tender as
one could hope for. Next time I'll dredge and fry after it
has cooked in the oven so that it stays a bit crispier.

 

[RaelThomas]

Black and tan in a can? Well I never.

 

[rooze]

Inspired by last nights viewing of Bizarre Foods episode in Sichuan Province China I decided to get involved with some serious hot pot action... Here's how it went down!

Getting everything together... As you can see my vision is slightly blurry already.


Having got my stock ready. dried chilli, chilli mash, sichuan bean & chilli sauce go in the pan with some peanut oil.


Stock added, along with sherry, sugar, salt, rice wine, vinegar, fresh cayenne, sichuan peppercorns etc etc etc...


Skewers.. check! (that's Pork marinated in ginger, chilli, and hoi sin). (The vegies ones are; Fennel & bok choi, and Peppers & ... peppers!)


And it's go time! Skewers HOY!

I was so tipsy I forgot to include my whiskey can... Oops. [Puuuullleaassseeeee!]


Good Times! Now, if you don't mind... I need another whiskey.

My butt is twitching just looking at the pot of fiery goodness.....however, wot in a can?....whiskey?......please say it ain't so

 

[Pepper Ridge Farm]

I'm crying laughing out loud so hard for the drunken bear in a bathtub. Drinking Miller Lite and making another Biker Billy Popper Pie tonight and would like to contibute to the Drunken Chef thread finally. Tears still coming down my face I want to thank all you guys for the votes on this entry very cool. It was not just a drunken one night stand so posting porn pie here.

Rooze amazing meal and definitely a throwdown contender with that great idea and pics.