The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

I think this was chicken..

Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.

 

[Justaguy]

2nd shift will be mine again once my boys are all over 18.

 

[zdecker]

Prepare for some awesomeness..or at least I think so!!

So I had some Top Round steak to use...why not make some Jerky??

Put it on the ECB for about 2 hours or so.

Mmmm goodness...

Recipe:

A pound or so of top round steak
1/2 cup worcestershire
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup brown sugar
4 garlic cloves minced
2 tsp ground black peppah
1 tsp onion powder
Birds eye, habanero, scotch bonnet, datil, chipotle, and cayenne peppers(dried), with a little coriander and cumin.

Marinated overnight and then smoked at 180 for 2 hrs or until well dried...let cool to room temp and refrigerate leftovers!!! So guuuddd!!

 

[paulky_2000]

I love jerky soooooo much!!!

 

[LunchBox]

Shit...that's my steak, well done...lookin and tastin good.

 

[geeme]

Shit...that's my steak, well done...lookin and tastin good.

Um.... no. REAL Steak is best when just seared on the outside, and dripping with tender, juicy goodness on the inside!

LOL - to each his/her own!

 

[Mikko]

Prepare for some awesomeness..or at least I think so!!

Woah! Love the recipe and the photos! I don't have a smoker (and I always drink Koskenkorva or Stolichnaya as my vodka of choice) so I use liquid smoke, not quite the same thing....

But I also don't use heat abowe 131F (55 'C) so the meat "doesn't cook". A bit difficult to explain, but I dry the meat in my oven, setting the heat just above 55 celcius and jamming the oven hatch ajar with a winebottle cork.

My beef jerky recipe goes like this;

Meat, beef about 1kg

Marinade (for apporx 1kg of beef), leave the meat into this for 24hrs

3 tbls honey
2 tbls Chipotle Tabasco
A dash of smoked Naga Morich
2 tbls of ground dried chili (in my case some c. annuum)
Black pepper
1-2 teaspoon (=shall be "ts") of salt
2 ts of dried & ground paprika
2 ts jeera (cumin)
1 ts curry
5 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
½ cup of red vine
2 ts lemon juice

Strip the meat and assemble the strips on the oven rack to drie overnight

 

[zdecker]

Woah! Love the recipe and the photos! I don't have a smoker (and I always drink Koskenkorva or Stolichnaya as my vodka of choice) so I use liquid smoke, not quite the same thing....

But I also don't use heat abowe 131F (55 'C) so the meat "doesn't cook". A bit difficult to explain, but I dry the meat in my oven, setting the heat just above 55 celcius and jamming the oven hatch ajar with a winebottle cork.

My beef jerky recipe goes like this;

Meat, beef about 1kg

Marinade (for apporx 1kg of beef), leave the meat into this for 24hrs

3 tbls honey
2 tbls Chipotle Tabasco
A dash of smoked Naga Morich
2 tbls of ground dried chili (in my case some c. annuum)
Black pepper
1-2 teaspoon (=shall be "ts") of salt
2 ts of dried & ground paprika
2 ts jeera (cumin)
1 ts curry
5 cloves of garlic, finely chopped
½ cup of red vine
2 ts lemon juice

____________________________________________________________________________________

Like your recipe Mikko, may have to give it a try.

 

[LunchBox]

Um.... no. REAL Steak is best when just seared on the outside, and dripping with tender, juicy goodness on the inside!

LOL - to each his/her own!

I don't eat bloody, or even pink steaks. In fact I find steak to be so boring, I rarely eer eat it. I'd rather spend $20 on a rack of ribs to awesomify, than a little hunk of bloody meat.

 

[Flamecycle]

I don't eat bloody, or even pink steaks. In fact I find steak to be so boring, I rarely eer eat it. I'd rather spend $20 on a rack of ribs to awesomify, than a little hunk of bloody meat.

Blasphemy!

 

[LunchBox]

Blasphemy!

Dude...I've tried steaks anywhere and everywhere for 20+ years. My wife actually make sthe est steaks I've had...and I still don't crave them.

Unless we're talking carne asada...then I'm game.

 

[geeme]

I do like steak "plain" as well as "fancy", but then my definition of "plain" includes sea salt, garlic powder, pepper powder, tarragon...... you get the idea!

Here's a basic recipe I found a few years back for chili-rubbed skirt steak:
4 teaspoons chili powder
2 teaspoons ground coriander
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 teaspoon oregano
Sea salt
Pepper powder

I've NEVER made this exactly according to the above, but use that as a starting point and go nuts with my spice cabinet. I can assure you whatever else goes in, at a minimum garlic and tarragon also go in. Might or might not skip oregano, but usually keep the rest. At any rate, the above quantities are for a single steak - multiply it by the number of steaks you have. It's not carne asada, but it's excellent!

 

[robbie]

REAL Steak is best when just seared on the outside, and dripping with tender, juicy goodness on the inside!

Quoted for truth!

The blood in a good medium-rare steak doubles as a gravy for
the mashed potatoes. Mmmmm-mmmmm guuud!

I rarely order steak out at a restaurant as very few can equal
the ones I prepare. When I do and the server inquires if I'd
like steak sauce, I reply with "I hope not!"

 

[texas blues]

Ya'll need to go back and read the first post. Pics and booze are mandatory in this thread. Nobody cares about recipes here.

 

[geeme]

LOL - Where's YOUR pic of THAT????

 

[LunchBox]

Made Gumbo. Never made it before...turned out bad ass:

Ingredients...all the goodies there...and a fresh bhut, and savina for a little extra love:

Tossed the bhut and savina in with half a head of garlic...chopped 'em up, and tossed into the mix of crawfish tails, jalapeno sausage, and smoked turkey I found in the bottome of the deep-freeze...from back at Thanksgiving.

Tossed the meat-mix in a wok with a shit load of butter and olive oil. Cooked until the juices started making an orange gravy...

I made a base with chicken stock, then added the meat-n-heat:

I recreated the cajun trinity in my own way...onion, celery, and instead of bell peppers, I used the 2 poblanos, and 3 large jalapenos. I also diced up 3 romas to toss in. I made a medium roux with a mix of butter and olive oil, then cooked the quadrinity in it for 5 minutes...then added the KEYSTONE LIGHT to it...cooked for a few more minutes:

Tossed everything together:

Added a bag of okra, some ground mustard, basil, jalapeno salt, celery salt, thyme, a pinch of dill, some Tony's, black pepper, cayenne, a few bay leaves and probably some other shit.

After 2 hours simmering...

Plated...damn that was good.

 

[RaelThomas]

That's some fine lookin' Jerky Mikko.

 

[Flamecycle]

hell yeah lunchbox. that must have been hell waiting 2 full hrs to stuff your face with that. get it

 

[JayT]

Well, I have been delinquent for a bit, but I am back and better than ever. Here are some of the goings on that have been happening in the casa de JayT. First some chorizo queso to start things out.

I made this one from scratch with browned chorizo, chopped jalapenos, habs, and diced tomatoes. Then milk, chicken broth, then shredded some mozzarella, sharp cheddar, and monterey jack cheese. Added some of AJ's naga puree to bring the heat up a little more.

Since I made so much I figured I would use it on everything. First, a steak quesadilla. This was a leftover strip steak I sliced up for the quesadilla and a cheesesteak.

Booze break...

 

[JayT]

Now for da cheeseysteak

And if you have seen my status lately you would know that I have come into about 50lbs of tomatoes recently and have been very busy making salsa. I have also just about perfected the blt. Here it is.

That is three slices of white toast all covered with Hellman's and HBD's 1841. Then about 6 slices of bacon, two thick slices of Jetstar tomato, lettuce (which ideally would have been green leaf, but hey I used what I had), and American cheese. The only thing better than that is when you serve it with this.

 

[SumOfMyBits]

Some sexy vittles have been posted recently. Bear says "big ups!" to the cheese steak and the gumbo...

Yeah, he showed up at the door today... smelling like a frat-house, as usual.

We had some good times... and lots of Busch... All he had on his mind was this next Throwdown.

He shows up when he knows things are just about to get awesome, but I'm catching an edge on his voice....

I think he's genuinely concerned for the SoFlo Posse on this one.

I told him not to worry, then tucked him in for the night.

"Good night Bear." I said. Then he slurred out, "It's Doctor Bear now, dammit!"

Dr. Bear... HA! Let's see some pics is what I say.