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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
Whens the last time you had a big steamin' bowl of tomfoolishnessessess?
 
Well thats too long!
 
I have been remiss in posting in this thread for some time.
 
I had just a couple ounces of bison meat leftover from earlier this week. I had decided that I'd had enough meat for this month and was about to toss it out but then I started drinking. A lot!
 
So I chopped up a couple red potato's, abused some garlic, onions, and jalapeno in cast iron. Tossed in the ground bison and slapped it around in the pan. Then I rummaged around in the pantry looking for something to jack the heat up. Found a ziplock buried in the back of the pantry containing a dubious mix of cheapass taco seasoning laced with t-scorp powder. Tossed in a spoonful of that. Why the hell not. I was feeling all stupid n' sheeit anyhow.
 

 
Comal'd some corn tortillah's and squeezed n' pleezed on some fresh lime.
 
Of course I was drunk.
 
Who else but a drunk would post a pic of tacos with a beer right on the plate?
 

 
The first bite was pretty goodern' hell. The second lit me up like a pinball machine on 220v.
 
I take my best pics when I'm drunkft too.
 

 
The taco's weren't all that big so I ate 4 of them and finished off all the bison mix. My cornhoolio today feels like a colony of fire ants has moved in and set up shop and for awhile there this morning it felt like I was crapping out an entire 1000 foot roll of barb wire.
 
Goodern' hell!
 
I would slam about fifteen of them down without stopping.  Onliest I would like a little sour cream and srirachaha to go with em.
 
On a side note, the thumb ring looks pristine as always.
 
Bison hash tacos?!!!!!! The TB is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Throw an egg on top!
 
TB fren Chico ees cooking tonight en la cocina azul del TB.
 
Chico cooking muy bueno.
 
Chico say when you see Chico photographia del comida you too will say aiyeeeee!!!
 
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