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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...


I think this was chicken..


Stewing in its own juices, just like me..


I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
Pan seared----I think there was a little too much oil in the pan, prolly could of done with less.  Oh Well!
That fresh salsa was WONDERFUL!  THe Ahi rocked, even the 'Kid and his buddy ate it!


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texas blues said:
SL posts in the DC thread with awesome pan seared tuna!
Forgets to post wine.
Boxen Wine-

Uber-geemed wine-

Spelling Bee-
What's the plural of OX?
What's the plural of BOX?
Ok, my first cooking Saturday in a while. Pulled pork. Won't call it BBQ cause it's done in the oven. But it will be good!

The beer is for braising, the Bloody for drinking. Pork butt, molasses, cider vinegar, liquid smoke and spice mix

Homemade chili powder and Cajun spice, ground mash, brown sugar, 2 chipotles and black pepper

Rubbed butt gonna sit a bit.
Onion, Jalepeno, garlic and chipotles sautéing in bacon fat.

Decided this one for braising, Sierra Nevada for drinking.

Add molasses, liquid smoke, beer and cook down.

Meat in.


In oven. 300 for a long time.

Beer me! Next, sauce.

Forgot worscestichire (?)

Diced and sautéed

Sautéed, add liquid smoke, both mustards. Molasses Cook.