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The Drunken Chef

Hey ya'll once again from the big dry ditch of Las Vegas. I had picked up some beautiful chix I wanted to deep fry but soon discovered I didn't have enough oil. Why not just drive down to the local grub store and buy it you ask? BECAUSE I WAS PISS DRUNK!! Alrighty then. I grab the bottle of Hornitos tequila and ready myself to begin the destruction. I fire up the cast iron dutch oven and just start throwing stuff in. Olive oil. Garilc. Julieanned shallot. Chix thighs. Gets a little blurry here but I somehow managed to debone the thighs without chopping off my leg but then all good cooks should be able to pull that off. The vast majority of experienced kitchen rats and riffraff cook much better after a bottle of wine or three. Those of you reading this keep that little kitchen tip in mind, especially when family from out of town is around. If the wife is chewing your ass the next day for your drunken lewd and lascivious behavior in the kitchen the previous night, then you know you must have made a helluva meal and did it right.

Continuing on, I soon missplaced my shot glass and decided to dispensed with it all together. Why should tequila have to go through a middleman anyway. Liquors quicker straight from the bottle. I discovered I had a stash of dried pequins from last season and bada bing bada boom in they went. Same with some forlorn looking button mushrooms. Whirring and stirring with a spoon in one hand and the bottle of firewater in the other, why not deglaze the pan with tequila? Excellent idea! Might as well get rid of the rest of the hab salsa I made the other day. In that goes, adios baby! Add some seasalt and cracked black pepper. Whir and stir. Taste. It tastes like burning. Nice.

Somehow during this culinary rampage I managed to take a few pics.

The beginning of the end...

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I think this was chicken..


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Stewing in its own juices, just like me..

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I can't be sure but I think I ate it with tortilla's but who can say. This morning as I looked at the devastation in the Blues Kitchen I reckoned that were I to detonate a hundred pounds of C4
in the middle of it I would only cause about $21.47 worth of damage. Mrs. Blues was not amused but and well acquainted with my late night shenanigans. Ahhh marital bliss.

Now that I have started this thread, I call on all you THP drunks, sots, and gin blossomed heathens to keep it going. Pics are mandatory and it goes without saying that rule number one is...YOU MUST BE DRUNK WHEN COOKING!!

So get the divorce papers ready, get your favorite bottle of liquid stupid and get cookin' ya'll!

Cheers, TB.
 
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I've had my share of a rib or two, and those look good. Around here, it is almost impossible to find NOT good Q (well, there are a few places that suck), but I love living in BBQ land. What kind of smoker did you use? And the only problem I saw with the meal was I couldn't see any jalapeno or habanero pieces in the cornbread. Maybe they were there and I just didn't see them . . .

Hawkeye said:
Thank you very much!High praise indeed,from someone in BBQ land.Around here it's almost impossible to find good Q.It all tasted great.Glad I used applewood,cause
with the high winds anything else would've tasted too smokey.Couldnt control the amount of smoke at all!



And thanks to everybody else too.It did taste as good as it looked.The beans might have been the best yet I've cooked.And nothing beats smoked poppers :halo:
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What kind of smoker did you use? And the only problem I saw with the meal was I couldn't see any jalapeno or habanero pieces in the cornbread

My smoker is a cheap upright one that I got used.That's why the ribs are cut into smaller pieces,so they fit.No nameplate left,but it looks just like the square brinkman.Thin metal and not very airtight.
It's getting replaced real quick I hope.And you busted me on the cornbread!I need to find a better recipe.
 
Hawkeye said:
My smoker is a cheap upright one that I got used.That's why the ribs are cut into smaller pieces,so they fit.No nameplate left,but it looks just like the square brinkman.Thin metal and not very airtight.
It's getting replaced real quick I hope.And you busted me on the cornbread!I need to find a better recipe.
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That may be a happy mistake, they look like St. Louis cut to me. Nice job.
 
Oh Damn! yeah, that's what I'm talkin 'bout! The Prime Rib I just bought, is mainly for the leftovers to make Philly's! The PR we had for Christmas didn't last long enough for any of that.
oooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that looks good. and wings! those dam wings looks divine.
 
Happy New Year to all my fiery friends the world over. In preperation for the feasting to come here are few teasers.

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Thoes are 2 four pound Pork Loins which will marinade over night and go into the smoker for 4 or 5 hours tomorrow.

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The marinade

Cheers y'all FloPo style



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Lookin' good RM. Can'[t wait to see how this one turns out. I am going to be starting two pork loins in kraut myself tomorrow as soon as I can drag my drunken a$$ out of bed. I'm diggin' the Bells. I have had a few of theirs lately. I have some special ones in my stash for tonight,
 
Golf? Golf? Really? You're in Flo for chris'sruth sake! You should be down in Miami drinking pina colada's and hanging with hot Cubanita's while deep frying conch fritter balls in manatee oil.
 
Yeah and everywhere you go there should be a guy following you with a GIANT boombox playing this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLuf8rJAbyY&feature=fvwrel
 
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