Every year. Every goddamn year.
"Hold that football tight this time, alright Lucy?"
"You got it Charlie Brown, come give it a real good kick."
I know you can't grow peppers in Canada. The people who say you can are just filthy liars, lying all the lie-long day. Yes, even you. You know who you are. You liar.
But for some reason I feel compelled to try.
You know those shows about people with weird afflictions, where they're sitting there eating their couch, or their laundry detergent? Well, I'm a lot like that, except those fuckers look at me, their mouths crammed full of blue-powdered couch stuffing, saying "dude, you ca't gwow peppuhs id cadada, aw you toopid?"
Yes, DetergentFlavoredStuffingEater72, I am stupid.
Stupid...